The clock ticks

The clock ticks.
The retriever’s tail flicks
“I see you here in the dark.”
I went to bed early, out of spark. 

I worry that the light on the hill is a fire. 
I try to calculate when I’ll expire.
Not that I want to die at all. 
It’s just a big financial call.

(not depressed or suicidal, just saying)

What a business life is!  
What a business life was... 
It’s 3.39 am and this night
finds me at peace, not in fright.

Shall I abandon all to the Lord?
Shall I just live with my sword?
My spiritual armour on and…
Dance without five-man band,

With all my love and Light in heart,
Can I live out loud until I naturally depart? 
Many before have done so, it’s true.
I think that’s all I’ve left to do.

I wanted to do more, I confess. 
But, who knew? D-words: distress.
Duress, departure and the delight
of writing in my cell phone light.

Verse is useful when time allows.
To our will no word bows. 
One must gently entice each out
And not leave any scattered about. 

That reminds me - words on the fridge.
The magnets like, LOVE… I cringe.
Living in flipping lala land. 
Not as grand as I had planned.

I was. Blind to all that could rip.
I felt I’d lost too much that trip.
Somehow, there’s always more.
Wounds to bleed and scar. War! 

I don’t know what I expected. 
I didn’t expect to be rejected. 
I didn’t expect the lies they told. 
I didn’t expect to grow this old. 

I thought I’d be dead by now. 
I have managed to live somehow. 
I don’t seem to be dying anytime soon. 
And I still sometimes dance about the room. 

The Click tocks away it’s time.
I’ll be in church by nine. 
I’ll have no money for the plate. 
And after that I will anticipate.  

Goodness has found me now. 
Somehow. 
Prayers nuns said for me, I think. They knew, at least, my soul in ink. 


THOUGHTS THAT CAME


Revelation : I was my mother’s teacher. And mine teach me. 
How extraordinary that is! 

Revelation: Correction:  I know what I expected. 

I expected, after school, that society, the world, all the people, would be on the same path and in agreement with the ethic of “a joint moral enterprise.”    

And it shocked me to discover it was not. On day one, and  I was afraid of it, the world, at 17. 

Then I thought I could get married, have children and at least have that ethic in my family.  

Jolted out of that before I was 24. 

Quoted from Dr Jordan Petersen podcast: 
“…a joint moral enterprise..” 

and just by the way… 

Plato was a wrestler. Plato was his nickname! Who knew? Also from the same podcast. Link below. 

I’m not remembering well all the books I read. Did I know that once? 

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=v0s5klPtQXk&si=u18jpejin6MBMAyN

Love and Holy Light. And Peace.

Thank you for coming by. I appreciate your company.