Communing with a moth way past midnight.

I wanted a nap, but got to knitting. I’m almost done with a nice design for a “tween”.

Why does May seem ages ago? How did June get here so fast?

A tiny moth dances about the light probably wondering what time it is. A mosquito breezes past since my blood is of not mosquito friendly.

I have heard all sorts of reviews on the book, Fifty Shades of Grey. At one point I thought I was the only person who did not read it.

I came across the movie. I know nothing about that sort of thing. I don’t know what I was expecting from it, but I was not shocked nor did I feel like a voyeur. It was a bit educational.

I found Mr Grey honest at least, which was refreshing. Some people take over twenty years to reveal who they really are. I also thought the contract was quite sensible. I did not see the end. Not even sure it was a movie or a series. Probably the latter.

I watched something else earlier and it was all sorts of gun fighting. I know Resurrection was all sorts of stabbing with swords and daggers, but they were less noisy and they didn’t have to reload. Action movies rush through every scene with shattering glass, noisy guns and fast cars. Slow is much better.

I have been looking for news on the new government in Israel. The bits I got from Dohah made me think the Rabbi was catastrophising. But I know little about that as well.

Harry breezed in at some point, checking out the crone on the couch.

I have nothing Biblical this post. Can’t mingle Mr Grey with spiritual things.

I am going to try to read my fabulous book before I nod off.



Patience, Endurance, Preparation, and Engagement

P E P E.

P-words. Portend. Patience. Preparation. Perception. Pertinance. Persistence. Practice. Performance. Productivity. Perfection. Protective. Purport.

E-words: Elevate. Engage. Enlighten. Esteem. Expression. Equilibrium. Empathy. Efficacy. Eclectic. Ertugrul (I know! Could not resist.)

I quite like making lists of words starting with a letter that jumps up like a new pup. These two came from a lecture on the FAI channel. I am happy to say that the D-word phase is long gone.

“We follow a crucified King. We are not appointed to the wrath of God, but the wrath of Satan.”

I did say stuff is going to get real. Hang onto you hat.

woke up at one in rhe morning. Fired up the laptop and got straight into the Rabbi. Israel’s new government has horrified him. He wouldn’t be surprised if “it’s all over in a couple of months.”

The Rabbi is usually harsh. However his advice is: open your heart and hands. this is no time to be stingy. Don’t look at evil people. When walking in the street, forget the “shoulders back, head up” advice. Look down. Stay home Wednesday and Friday nights. The air that we breathe matters.

In other news, Turkey has phelm like stuff coating ocean life and killing it

Like the Rabbi I feel the urgency of time. We are already in June. Half way to December! Time is increasing speed.

Things are not going to get better. things are going to get worse. The Rabbi reminds us to elevate ourselves. While searching for the sea turning to dead man’s blood I came across many scriptures about the sea.

Search for Yahweh so that you may be saved from His wrath. Loosely quoted now, but seriously, even the air about us is changing.

When I woke up, I opened the glass door and felt the warm berg wind. As I sit in the now warm sunroom, the wind gushes in, in fits and starts. I sense it warns us. Get ready. Be worthy. Pray you will be sealed for the Lord. If not, you (we) face a time so terrible as never before – never ever before – without divine protection/assistance.

I am just and poor traveller in the 21st. I would love to go to the Golan … but … There may be no time and … So, this is my bit for the Kingdom.

On a personal note, I am back on medication. I could not risk the black hole I may fall into now. And my laptop has been resurrected so I shall be throwing quotes at you.

Thank you for coming. As always your likes are encouraging.


Lights out Pondering

My lovely brain grew fond of Resurrection’s lyrical language, prayerful background music and songs in the tent. English feels harsh in comparison. The Startup introduces the characters having sex in the beginning of the series. I skipped. Took up watching with my daughter in later episodes which was not quite so in your face.

I turn to my YouTube preachers on my phone in between episodes. The adverts are sometimes quite funny. “Then Elisha said,”Use Bolt for …” as the advert rudely interupts. All my suggested viewing has something to do with Revelation and the last days.

I did believe in a pre-trib. rapture when my faith was revived at 30. My favourite (widely acknowledged giants on whose shoulders we stand) preachers say there will be a rapture, but my Capricorn self later thought the tribulation is for everyone. We all shall need to be shaken into shaping up.

And, “As in the days of Noah and Lot,…” doesn’t mean every believer will be worthy. The fact that only a few are saved on both occasions clearly warns us that only a few will be able to stand through the tribulation.

I have my end-of-the-world “boots” on. I am ready for tribulation… (I have had enough practice although I wasn’t aware I was in boot camp), but unless things happen slowly enough (I go into shock if things are suddenly upon me) I can’t imagine how I will respond initially. My soul surely knows. So, I am ready.

Being a Catholic, one was not raised on rapture fear/glee. FAI also argues for no rapture.

Some (since I don’t know anyone else, personally, who has read the book) Catholics believe in a moment of awakening for everyone. That is going to hurt. Suddenly being aware of all the soul destroying stuff we allowed, went through, ignored, turned a blind eye to, imagined and then judged cruely, and some bad stuff we even enjoyed for a bit, and our general passive rebellion against all authority and God (mia culpa) is bound to make us nauseous.

Our deeds will be laid out on a table like travel luggage under hot lights for us to see. (Do not worry. We will all only be focused on ourselves and our own shame). Pop ups will show who we tagged. Locations on, date stamped, and the video feed will reveal all. I imagine something like that.


Religious freedom is threatened, all over the world, even in my corner of Africa.

And Anti-Semitism screams rudely.

Not a total stretch to Jacob’s trouble .

Nurture soul.

The value of watching all five seasons of Resurrection is that I witnessed men who went into battle against those who desired for the self alone, against those who knowingly discredited the good, murdered, instead of warred, peace and harmony, and (the good warriors) were prepared to die in those battles for their stand against that evil.

In there last moments these Muslim men said, “There is no god but Allah and Muhammad is the messenger of Allah.”

It was a story based on Muslim history (there is an article that points out that the history is iffy, but the prayer: Shahadah is not iffy). Sure. The script was written to glorify Islam. I am not thrown by that. It is a glorious story with fabulous characters and I for one am so happy to have found it. Muslims, however, put Christians to shame with their generosity and kindness (experienced first hand – always).

We Christians do not entertain strangers even though they may be angels. We do not bring the kid next door cookies and chocolate just because we can.

We like to say, “They will know us by our love,” but honestly, not so much. We love conditionally. Our faith requires unconditional love. Without unconditional love we may as well be heathens.

We are here to fix/heal the earth. An extreme version of this in a modern movie is Ragnarok. It is a story about Norway, giants and Thor. Not a true story but heroes and villains, black and white.

Ayn Rand said somewhere, loosely quoted, a painter does not paint a portrait of a girl showing all her pimples. He paints her how she should look.

We have been working against evil since forever in our work place and often in our homes (more’s the pity) and standing against the evil in prayer with all our might when we have perceived what it is we are up against. Collectively we called it the system. No. It is naked evil in pockets all about us.

We are confused about evil. We acknowledge it, consider it vaguely, think the movie is intense, while we watch bad guys fight bad guys, choose the one bad guy above the other, because he is less bad or is quirky and smarter, has more honour and …Then we need super heroes to be the good guys because we have given up believing in the goodness of man, and have forgotten, or never knew the Name/Word of our Father.

We are desperate for hope, dying to see heroism, and characters that show us how to be honourable as opposed to the better of two bad guys.

Finally, are we ready to die for our faith? Best we think about it. I believe that the tribulation has begun.

For the sake of His sorrowful passion, have mercy on us, and on the whole world,” we Catholics pray.

And the lights are back on! Power cuts are normal again. One keeps the phone charged and buys mobile data.


Suckered by Satire

I mostly don’t get jokes. I can’t (don’t choose to) write satire so I miss it when someone else does.

I don’t get why one is want to write it. Speaking it doesn’t catch me as much. I can read faces and recognize satire on the first take. But I will dash off an immediate response! And …


Oh well. I know. “I’m just a little unwell,” as the song goes. My degree of autism is such a precious gift, I should have been twins.

Humiliation brings light, my teachers explained. I am a living torch then, to be sure. One wants to crawl under tiny stones and pretend to be diamonds sparkling in the sunshine.

On a more pleasing note, scripture provides relief.

One can’t really know how much we trust God. We are still too affluent. And even when we witness the division of loaves, we give someone else the credit.

I have seen how Ertugrul lives and rules and how only God’s will matters. I am about to see the end of the series. He has never once fallen off his horse. And, more than that, he reminds me of my father. He did not fall off his horse either. Rare humans. Giant souls. I think I can safely say that he would have frowned upon satire as well.

I would quote him, but I best leave his words in the book his angels kept. There were not many. But like Ertugrul, his facial muscles spoke volumes.

They do not cry out to me from their hearts, but wail on their beds. They slash themselves, appealing to their gods for grain and new wine, but they turn away from me” (Hosea 7:14)

We shall remember Ertugrul forever. He also advised silence instead of noisy chatter. It is my kismet to learn my lessons the hard way.


The sound Bench

I used to write this on FB.

We had a bench outside where I would smoke. The lad was a baby and he lived here.

The sounds early and late are telling. All is as it must be.

Tyres swish towards us. Shock absorbers groan or shriek over the speed bump just past our house. Birds sometimes greet the day or shoot goodnights to neighbours.

A dog will complain of the cold or express indignation at being required to pee before bed, during a nap. A “No one would do that to a human!” protest bark.

Since covid, the sounds are less intense. Burglar alarms tweet in the distance. Traffic is not bad yet at 6 30 a.m. Only the odd car passes by.

The winter morning still has stars shining at this time. I look up and wonder if we will ever get to the point where we navigate by the stars. I will be lost permanently.

I went out last night to a shop that was closed, so, I turned down a road not totally familiar and promptly lost direction. Which way is up? That feeling. So, whatever lies ahead, I hope it includes a natural navigator.

I have bought our young men flints “for the end of the world box”. I can’t make fire, melt iron or … I don’t think knitting will be an essential skill.

I hate guns. I do. I don’t want one in my house. I can make many exceptions, but not this one. But, I was taken to the bush to learn how to use one. It frightened me. Such power in such a small thing. I was afraid, more after that experience, because, I am sure I used one in a previous life.

On one of my journeys dilly-dallying my way back to truth, after the trauna of being knocked off my perch, I went to a card reader – not tarot that time – and the lady said I killed people in my previous life. When my face reacted she said, “You only killed bad people,” as if that was okay.

And in the time it has taken to get here, a frog started clicking and the cars began roaring to work, a duck shouted at someone. All is well in this bit of Africa.